-by Fanny- a blogger that I admired .
"I never knew love & relationship could be one the best process of learning in life. I always understand that no one is perfect in this world. But I’ve never realized that relationship is not about perfection.
I never passed to be a good girlfriend I can say. I was always self-centered and selfish. I don’t give a damn about my partner’s daily life, issues he’s having, his family and so on. What matters is all about how good he treats me, how much he could sacrifices for me, and how he sets me as his priority. And all I do was nothing but waiting to receive 100% of his time, care, pamper, surprises and so on. Being pampered in every relationships doesn’t turn me to be a grateful person. Instead, I made everything their responsibility. The more I was being pampered, the more I demand and being not understanding.
Out of 6,879,100,000 people in the world I met him. There’s this person who seems a lil different from others. He brings the best of me, gives the feeling of butterflies in stomach. I wanted to be with him, instead of I needed him to live with. I wanted to settle down. And it makes me do a lot of thinking about relationship recently.
Sometimes, problems occur in relationship because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person. When we like/love someone, we tend to expect the person would be the one we wanted them to be. But sadly, we are all imperfect human beings. Everyone has their very own and unique personality. So bare in mind, before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself. They are not born to please anyone. If you like/love someone, you would absolutely see his imperfect perfectly.
Relationship is not about getting things done the way you wanted it to be, or simply satisfy your own needs. In a relationship, we tend to demand. But you can’t depend on other people to get what you want. Instead, relationship is about the moments, feelings and stories we share, hardships we’ve been through together and the journey of learning each day. Being with someone is not about being happy all the time, not to mention to fulfill your own fairytale that you’re dreaming of. When things go outta your expectation, here comes tears and angers. Thus, that is the time you start learning about consideration.
Trust takes a long time to build. As we know, it could be destroyed in a second as well. When we tend to suspect about each word he/she says, we know it’s the time we shouldn’t be together. We tried to believe each word they say, we tried not to be over sensitive to everything they did. Because we know that trust plays an important role in a relationship. Bare in mind, so does communication. If we could make everything clear and transparent, we would go through all of these.
In a relationship, we always ask, how much he/she could give me? How much he/she could sacrifice for me? To determine how much he/she loves me. We have forgotten that relationship is about give and take. we started to over concerntrated about ourselves. At the mean time, we forgot about the other one needs to feel loved as well. Do you ever sit down and ask yourself, what have I done to make him/her feel loved in return as well?
At times we forgive someone, not that because we forget about the mistakes they did, we simply still want them in our life. But when things are truly not meant to be yours, no point holding on for so long. I have no strength left for this crap, literally."
